Lessons from My Mom
Her name was Helen Margaret Koenke Walker. Today, Thanksgiving Day, would have been her 95th birthday. She was a teach-by-example kind of mother. Helen taught her children to be good parents and teachers and workers by being a good parent and teacher and worker.
One of my sisters said there are two kinds of moms: bike-riding moms, and moms who stayed home or watched. Our mom was a bike-riding mom. She had a zest for life—always ready for a new adventure. As her children, we were both grateful and proud of that. Mom was a curious, lifelong learner before that was a term. Helen instilled in her children compassion, and a love of God, people, nature, water, travel, music, and knowledge. Following are some life-lessons from a wise, wise woman.
Pray about it first–This was mom’s advice every time we came to her with a problem or for guidance on a difficult decision we had to make.
Don’t quit—It’s okay to try, and fail, but it’s not okay to quit. It’s not okay to not give it your best effort. Walkers are not quitters.
People are more important than things—When someone needed her advice, our mother gave them her undivided attention. She could always clean the house later. If an heirloom got broken or an accident totaled a car, her first concern was the safety of the people involved. We can replace cars. We cannot replace people.
Work while you are on the clock—It seems like a given, but it would surprise you to know what people do at work that is not work, and how bosses notice when you are working. Don’t steal your company’s time. If you are at work, WORK.
Leave things better than you found them—Campsites, parking lots, and public restrooms always looked better after mom left. If she borrowed something, it was cleaner, full of gas, or repaid two-fold upon its return.
Listen—Mom was as good as they come when someone needed an ear. She heard what a person was saying and what they were not saying. Yes, she gave advice, good advice, but mom was not thinking about what she wanted to say while the other person talked. She listened.
Keep your promises—If you tell someone you will be there, BE THERE. When you promise to take your child to the park, TAKE YOUR CHILD TO THE PARK. If you say you will pay them, PAY THEM.
Be a problem solver—Mom taught her children to figure out how to make it work. Whether it was a problem of transportation, finances, health, childcare, or whatever, her approach was “how can we?” not “we can’t.”
Love is a verb—Mom’s love was never in question. We received her love not only with hugs, kisses, smiles, and laughs, but with her every action. Our mother taught us to cook, clean, get stains out, sew on buttons, share, drive, use a map, read, and more because she loved us and wanted the best for us. She wanted us to enjoy life, but also to be ready for the challenges of the world.
Make every minute count—Helen loved and taught and worked with intention. At age 79, she left this world too soon. She left few material things like clothes, jewelry, and books. Most importantly, Helen left values in her children that will hopefully live on in them and the people they touch. There is a little Helen Walker in all six of her children. And for that, I am forever grateful.
Always say thank you—Thank you, mom for teaching us how to live. And thank you for taking the time to read this blog. You are the reason this blog exists. Thank you for your support.
What are some lessons you learned from your mother? Are you passing on lessons to the next generation? Please share below.
November 23, 2023 @ 4:38 pm
Loved this post, Joy! Made me think so much today of Mom Walker and I was proud to call her mom as her “adopted” daughter. Everything you said about her was right on. I miss talking with her as I know you do. I was and am blessed to have had her (& you too!) in my life.
November 24, 2023 @ 6:34 am
Make me cry, Debbie. Yes, I certainly do miss talking with her. Mom was my first phone call when I was down or had a problem to solve. Thanks for taking the time to write. Hope you had a good day.
November 24, 2023 @ 12:56 am
I learned so much from my mother, but the lessons she taught through her actions, left an impression on me. We were poor, but I didn’t know it; there was a feeling that we always had enough. Clothes, food, and more needs were somehow supplied. Living off the land was as natural as breathing. We had plum and cherry trees in the yard, blackberry bushes lined the driveway, and we always had a garden in the backyard. My mom loved people, too. She could always find the good in others.
November 24, 2023 @ 6:21 am
What a good momma! Providing for a family without them realizing the struggle is a gift. I wish I could have met your mom. Finding the good in others is a true measure of strength. Thank you for sharing.
November 24, 2023 @ 3:13 am
You have exemplified every character trait that you said about your mom! Really. I love you!❤️
November 24, 2023 @ 6:16 am
Wow! Thank you, Annette. That’s the best compliment ever.
You are so kind.
Love you.
November 27, 2023 @ 5:21 pm
I miss your mom! Crying. She sure did wonderful job and left great foot print on this earth.
Love and Blessings
Z
November 28, 2023 @ 3:46 am
Thanks, Zuzana. Yes, she did. She taught so many so much.
December 4, 2023 @ 4:03 pm
Your mother was a remarkable woman. We did not meet until later in life but we sure had fun. Your mother was a remarkable woman. We sure had fun. I remember the enjoyable times we had going to Founders Week in Cicago, volunteering at Child evangelism headquarters in Missouri, going to ball games and many more things. I miss her!!
December 7, 2023 @ 2:31 pm
Thanks Mary Anne. She loved you and Chuck. You were a true friend.
January 16, 2024 @ 1:17 pm
Wow! Sounds like an awesome Mom! I’m thinking about what my mom taught us. … and what I’m wishing I had done better at in teaching my own daughter! Too much to think about right now… need to focus on my spinning plates that are about to fall off the stick…
Awesome stories, Joy!!
January 16, 2024 @ 4:57 pm
Yes, Julia, I did have an awesome mom. I’ve heard that from a lot of parents. I’m sure you taught her more good than you know. My mom taught mostly by example. You still have time with your daughter. She is still learning from you as will her daughter. Just keep the right plates spinning. Thanks for sharing.
March 24, 2024 @ 11:26 pm
Your mom sounds like she was quite an inspiration. 2 life lessons we have in common:
1- Leave things better than you found it- I believe in not leaving someone else the job of cleaning up after me.
2- Keep your promises- I want people to be able to count on me, so it’s important.
Thank you for sharing some great lessons to pass on to our children.
March 28, 2024 @ 3:49 pm
Yes, Sherry, my mom, though she has been gone from this world 16 years now, inspires me every day. One regret is that I didn’t tell her that enough.
Thanks for sharing.