Don’t Wait

As I wrap up the writing of my book Finding Joy in the West, I am forming the outline of its sequel, Finding Joy in the East. The books are about finding joy as I ride my bike in fifty states, the people I meet, the places I visit, and in my spiritual walk with God.

In 2019, I took my first long trip in my motor home. The plan was to drive to California via the northern half of the country and zig zag my way back to Georgia on a southern route. Spoiler alert: the trip did not pan out that way. The six-month trip got cut in half. To hear the story, you will need to read my soon-to-be-released book.

In 2020, I took a six-week trip to Florida and a six-week trip north. By 2021, it was time to head east. On my trek to Maine, I tagged up with my brother and sister-in-law, my 102-year-old Aunt Helen, and friends and family in Indiana. Also, while in New York, I re-connected with a cousin and her parents, my mom’s sister and her husband. Having given them only a few days’ notice, I presumed we might meet for dinner, and I would continue my trek to Maine.

As my sister’s friend once said, “I could not have been wronger.” I arrived in North Tonawanda two hours before my cousin Kim retired. She and Uncle Don and Aunt Carol invited me to stay overnight. The next day, they invited me to stay another day. And the “stay one more day” pattern continued until I had stayed in my cousin’s driveway for five nights. My mom’s other sister, Ellie, came from Detroit and made the visit even more special.

The days (and night) we went to Niagara Falls became a highlight of my five-month trip to the east coast. Uncle Don had been a tour guide at the Falls, so he and Kim knew exactly where to take me for the best Falls experience. He explained the importance of the Falls as a source of hydroelectric power and shared the phenomenon of the natural whirlpool twirling clockwise or counterclockwise depending on the volume. He shared so much history, I couldn’t remember it all. Having done it many times before, Aunt Carol and Uncle Don waited for Kim and me as we enjoyed a thrilling boat ride on the Maid of the Mist, which took us to the bottom of the Falls where we felt the mist of the water as it gushed to the pool below.

After that visit, Kim set up a bi-monthly Zoom call with me, her identical twin Karen, Uncle Don, Aunt Carol, and Aunt Ellie. She invited other cousins and my siblings, who joined occasionally. The core group always included Kim and Karen, with an occasional pop-in visit with Don and Carol, who moved in with Kim after her husband Jim died in January 2023. We treasured those Zoom calls as we got to know each other better. Karen died in March this year of the debilitating disease of ALS. Oh, what a blessing it was to get to spend time with her, albeit on a computer screen, before she passed.

On a call in September, I told Kim I wanted to have a special Zoom with her and Uncle Don to reenact those days we spent at Niagara Falls. For my book I wanted to get more details about the Falls, and what better resource did I have than my resident-expert Uncle Don? We planned to schedule a Zoom once I turned my manuscript over to my editor again and Kim and her parents returned from a trip to Upper Michigan.

Well, that conversation never happened. Uncle Don died from a sudden heart attack last Tuesday. Somehow, the world seemed a much better place before Tuesday. His funeral was this past Saturday. I’m grateful that we reconnected, and I got to know my cousins Kim and Karen and their parents better, but I’m heartbroken that we didn’t get to have that one last chat. I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to Jim or Karen or Don. We all know we are not promised tomorrow, yet we think we will do this or that next week, spend time with family and friends next month, and make a bucket list trip next year.

Because of my experience, I want to say to you, “don’t wait.” Live each day as if it may be your last. End each call, each visit, with a sincere “I love you.” Having lost her husband, her twin, and her dad in less than two years’ time, my cousin says, “if you have the resources, don’t put it off for another day.”