A Life Well Lived
My mother passed away in 2008. Of her five siblings and their spouses, she was the first to die. Dealing with mom’s death was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Losing my mom forced me to look at life and death differently. To feel closer to her, I thought it might help to spend time with her younger brother Wil and his wife Barb.
In 2009, I rode my bike across Michigan with Uncle Wil, then 78, and 598 other cyclists on an organized ride called the PALM (Pedal Across Lower Michigan). I stayed with Uncle Wil and Aunt Barb for a couple of nights before the ride. Barb was more hospitable than I deserved. She thought of everything from what style pillows I liked to preparing a big breakfast casserole.
The evening before the ride, Wil and I skated around the park next to their home. Wil hit a stick and took a tumble. He got up, looked at his skinned knee and said, “I’m fine. Let’s go one more time around the loop.” On that last time around, he hit a rock. It took him down hard. His right knee and right forearm took the brunt of his fall.
With blood running down his leg and arm, he skated back to their house and Barb came to the rescue. I couldn’t even bear to look at my uncle’s injuries. It was bad, really bad. I’ve never been scraped up that badly and don’t recall ever being with anyone so banged up. To Wil and Barb, it was not a big deal. Barb doctored him up while I cringed. Neither of them even winced when she doused his wound with alcohol, applied ointment, and wrapped him up in gauze like a mummy.
If it had been me, I believe Wil would have ridden the PALM without me. Even though he couldn’t straighten his elbow, Wil never even considered missing the ride. Barb packed gauze, bandages, and ointment in his bag. Each night, I reapplied his bandages and never heard the first complaint. Though his wounds still looked bad, by the last day of the PALM, he insisted on going bandage-free. If only I could be that tough.
Somehow that experience endeared me to both of them. Over the couple of days I stayed with them, and as Wil called his wife every night of the weeklong ride, I saw their unwavering love for each other. Wil and I did two more PALMs together, as well as the GOBA (Great Ohio Bicycle Adventure) with some of my friends. I loved how they spoke of each other over the next several years. Through those years, I called and talked with both of them more than I ever had before. The more I got to know them, the more I loved them.
Uncle Wil passed away in November 2019. At his funeral, Barb gave me a devotional. In January 2020, she and I began reading through the Bible together. Our talks became more frequent and more focused on God and the scriptures. Knowing Barb was reading through the Bible with me kept me on track. Both of us missed days and doubled up on other days. However, we stayed committed to reading through the Bible—a first for both of us.
In 2021, we read through the Bible chronologically. The next year, Barb returned to reading devotionals and focusing on certain books of the Bible in more depth. Our discussions always included what we were reading or studying. As of this writing, I am on track to read through the Bible for the fifth year in a row. Much of that is because of Aunt Barb’s encouragement.
Two weeks ago, after enjoying a week at her cottage with her son John and his family, Aunt Barb passed away. I’m sad because I had planned to visit her in September, but I’m grateful she remained cognitively sharp until the end. And most importantly, I know where she stood with God.
As I reflect upon her life and our many phone calls, I realize I never heard Barb say an unkind or negative word about anyone. Nor did she ever mention what she did for others. Aunt Barb never even talked about singing at her church or weddings or any of the other things she must have done to encourage and help people through the years. Certainly, I will miss her encouragement and guidance. I will always remember Aunt Barb as having a big part in my spiritual journey. What a life well lived. If I could be half as gentle, kind, and compassionate as my aunt, I would consider my life well lived.
August 29, 2024 @ 3:01 pm
I’m so sorry you lost a great encourager but rejoice that you’ll see her again in the “sweet by and by”. I always remember the year your mom passed from life into life because Mom Jones passed in 2006, my mom in 2007 and you mom in 2008. Three special moms in consecutive years.
August 29, 2024 @ 7:50 pm
Thanks, Debbie. Wish I would have had a chance to meet your mom.
August 29, 2024 @ 3:51 pm
Joy, a very uplifting read about the many unsung heroes in our lives. We need to focus on their examples and pass on the lessons learned to those around us.
God boss them.
August 29, 2024 @ 7:52 pm
Couldn’t have said it better myself. You are so right, Tim.
August 29, 2024 @ 4:43 pm
What a beautiful tribute to your aunt and uncle who were obviously very special people.
August 29, 2024 @ 7:53 pm
Thanks, Amy. They certainly were special. Good memories.
August 29, 2024 @ 4:54 pm
I love reading your stories! You are a very special lady to me! Love you my friend ❤️
August 29, 2024 @ 7:54 pm
You are one special lady yourself! Wish our paths would cross more often. I think the world of you.
August 29, 2024 @ 5:46 pm
What a wonderful legacy uncle Will and aunt Barb left you. What a treasure! A life well lived and encouraging others! Your mothers family was quite remarkable!
August 30, 2024 @ 7:49 am
What inspirational memories they all left you with. Thank you for sharing.
August 30, 2024 @ 9:53 am
Thanks, Margaret.
August 30, 2024 @ 9:52 am
Thanks, Mary Anne. Yes, I have some good memories.
August 29, 2024 @ 5:58 pm
Joy,
Your Aunt Barb was a part of the “great generation”.
A wonderful tribute.
❤
August 29, 2024 @ 7:56 pm
For sure! So sad to see the greatest generation passing on. So many good people.
August 29, 2024 @ 7:05 pm
Beautiful story about beautiful people. Thank you for sharing. Love and blessings
August 29, 2024 @ 7:57 pm
Thanks, Z! I appreciate you always reading and commenting.
August 29, 2024 @ 8:04 pm
Joy!
Enjoyed reading about your Aunt and Uncle and how special they were to you. Hugs!
August 30, 2024 @ 9:49 am
Thanks, Deb. I appreciate your support.
August 30, 2024 @ 7:02 pm
What a beautiful picture of a beautiful lady! We were not meant to see death. It’s unnatural to our intended creation and yet what a merciful and loving Creator we have in so much that at the Fall, Grace stepped in and gave us life, another chance to accept His gift of eternal life once again but bought with an incredible price on the part of the Godhead! Praise the Lord that your aunt knew her savior and sleeps in the assurance that one day soon when Jesus returns to take his children home, your aunt will rise and put on immortality and shout with the righteous “Oh death where is your sting? Oh grave where is your victory!” I can’t wait to see my mom and dad on that great day!
August 31, 2024 @ 7:44 pm
Thank you Cheryl. I always enjoy your comments. You are such a blessing.
August 31, 2024 @ 1:44 pm
Joy,
Such a beautiful heart felt story of family life and love over the years. We live in the greatest country in the world; having ability to openly share our passion for Christ is a blessing. ❤️
Thank you
August 31, 2024 @ 7:46 pm
Thank you, Lynna. You are so right, Lynna. You are so right. We do live in the greatest country in the world.
September 20, 2024 @ 7:55 am
Knowing Jesus through study of His Word certainly contributed to Aunt Barb’s finding Joy! She must’ve been overjoyed when you were baptized!! What a beautiful thing to share together- love for Jesus and the study of His Word! ❤️
September 22, 2024 @ 10:36 pm
Thanks for your kind words, Julia. Yes, we had some good talks. Good memories.